Good Guy, Bad Role Model
by Rialga
Summary: To Sin Kiske, Sol Badguy had been his one and only father, having been the one to really raise him. As such, he holds the man in very high regard even after patching things up with Ky. But if there's one thing that could be agreed on, it's that Sol doesn't exactly give good or even intentional advice... especially concerning boredom. One-Shot! Rated M for reasons!


My God, how the time flies! Can scarcely believe it's already the end of February and the beginning of March! Hope you've all been doing well and that things are going okay for you guys.

Anyways, I've pretty much been off the grid as far as this site's concerned since the completion of the Wolf Amongst the Sheep, but now it's time to finally try and get back into the groove of things a bit. As I've stated in the final ANs of my previous fic, I had planned to start working on my second original story and that is exactly what I've been doing up until now, with said story now being 10 chapters long and around 120 pages in total thus far. That said, I've decided to take just a slight break from it to write this one-shot before going back to it.

On that particular note, my next actual fanfic… well, to be honest, I'm still sort of undecided on what to do. I have several ideas I'd love to write, but alas am having trouble picking one due to a few reasons, namely how exactly to start it and how I want it to ultimately end. But on that front, I've been making some progress in that there are only one or two ideas at the very forefront of my mind compared to the ten or so ideas I had before. But at any rate, I plan to try and get another 5-10 chapters done for my original novel before starting the next full-blown fanfic, so this will give me time to plan things out a bit more.

So apologies to all for the huge time gape between my fanfics. As repentance, here's this one-shot idea that had popped into my head just a short while ago.

Hope you enjoy!

P.S. As you'll quickly see, this one-shot takes place after the events of Revelator and the next arc that ASW and Daisuke Ishiwatari have planned for the series. Also, this fic is rated M for later evident reasons and also to be on the safe side! Also, I'll be playing up Sin's and Ram's naivety quite a bit for the sake of humor, so please don't get too angry if they seem OOC.

Good Guy, Bad Role Model

It was yet another day at Illyria castle and all was well both within and without the entire place. The Universal Will had been thwarted in its attempt to undo civilization, Ariels' plans had been put to a sudden stop as well and That Man had also finally been defeated after a climatic battle with his former friend, Sol Badguy.

Yes, it wouldn't be wrong to say that the entire world was now finally at peace, or as close to peace as it can get.

However, this presented a slight problem for both Sin Kiske and Ramlethal Valentine.

Both of them were, to put it most simply, _bored_.

"So…" Sin began as he leaned back in his chair. "Anything you want to do, Ram?" he asked.

"No," Ram said, the once emotionless Valentine now expressing considerably more emotion than before thanks to the time spent with Sin and the others. This was expressed in the heavy sigh she let out just now.

Sin could only grumble.

While there was definitely nothing wrong with the world no longer being threatened by some cosmic entity or the machinations of an ambitious person, it meant there was considerably less adventure to be immediately found. And food, sparring, and the likes could only do so much to spice things up.

"Wanna go shopping?" Sin asked suddenly, just throwing the idea out there.

"No," was Ramlethal's immediate response.

"Checkers?"

"No."

"Hang man?"

"No."

"Fishing?"

"No."

This continued on for another moment, Sin throwing out one idea after another only for Ramlethal to keep shooting them down. Sin couldn't quite blame her as they've already done all of those things before at some point.

"If only there were more people around or something…" Sin thought as he yawned.

The Gear-hybrid could only reflect on what the others were doing right now. His dad, Ky, was busy with some kingly shit and his mom, now that she could just be out and about without worry, had elected herself as his helper for the past few days. Sin was pretty sure though that his mother had done this partially out of a desire to help around but mainly to just spend time with Ky.

El had gone out for the day to explore the kingdom and no doubt raiding any and every sweet shop she came across, her mind control at the hands of 'Mother' having been broken during the final part of their adventure, returning her to normal and rendering her ever so grateful to everyone.

And as for the old man – Sol – he was busy doing what he did best whenever his presence wasn't demanded anywhere: lazing around on the rooftop of some part of the castle, smoking undisturbed.

It was on this note that Sin couldn't help but feel sort of… inspired whilst reflecting on something.

Ky may be his biological father and the relationship between them may have improve greatly ever since the events with the Conclave, but while Sin may now recognize Ky as his 'dad,' there was only one person that he could probably consider his true father figure.

And that person was Sol Badguy.

Now Sol Badguy was many things, not the least of which was lazy, gruff, foul-mouthed, and blunt as his weapon. It also couldn't be denied that he was ultimately a caring man, though this was hidden pretty well under his jerkish exterior.

If someone were to go around asking others what they thought of Sol, opinions would vary a fair bit, with some examples being:

"A good man, a good friend, and even better fighter," according to Slayer.

"A troublesome man, but with a good heart," according to Ky.

"A swell guy," according to Johnny.

"Grumpface," according to May and the rest of the Jellyfish crew.

"A lazy bum at times, but a strong ally as well," according to Millia.

"Husband mater- I mean Mr. Badguy's a wonderful man!" according to Elphelt, whose feelings for Sol were as clear as day to anyone with a brain, despite her shy and flustered denials.

"A respectable man, if somewhat lazy," according to Gabriel, president of Zepp.

Yes, opinions of the Flame of Corruption were varied, but ultimately all agreed on exactly two points: he was lazy and was a good guy despite his self-imposed surname.

To Sin, however, Sol was the one parent he had growing up outside of Illyria and as such the long-lived former scientist was perhaps the one person Sin could always turn to for advice.

If only he knew that advice from such a person wasn't always great.

"Hey!" Sin suddenly proclaimed, grabbing Ramlethal's attention from his abrupt burst of enthusiasm. "I got an idea!"

Ramlethal, startled enough to nearly fall out of her chair, managed to calm herself to her usual near blank state and looked at Sin. "What would it be?"

Sin grinned as a memory came to him.

 _(Flashback Start)_

 _Sin was only a few years old at the time and looking at least several years older. It'd only been a few months since Sol had become his unofficial caretaker and now the two of them had been wandering through a town when one particularly large carriage nearly ran over the older of the pair._

" _Fucking shit!" Sol yelled as he moved his left foot to keep it from getting ran over. "Look where you're going, asswipe!"_

 _Sin could only recoil at the sheer force behind Sol's words. "Y-You gotta yell at him?" he'd asked somewhat hesitantly._

" _Yeah, you bet I do," Sol had answered without looking at the Gear-hybrid. "Gotta vent somehow or else I'll start smashing shit."_

" _O-Oh okay," Sin had replied, genuinely perplexed. Yelling to vent unwanted emotions? He ought to give it a try!_

" _Fuck you, ya shit driver!" Sin suddenly yelled after the long gone carriage._

 _All eyes in the area turned to him and immediately the boy felt sheepish._

 _A pregnant pause filled the area, at least between him and Sol. Then._

" _Attaboy…" Sol had actually said in what had to be the closest he's ever come to genuine praise._

 _The smile Sin then wore had been brilliant to look at, if only it'd been under different circumstances._

 _(Flashback End)._

Explaining this, albeit not entirely, to Ramlethal, Sin could only grin all the while.

His friend, however, didn't really share his growing excitement. Indeed, she looked most skeptical. "You want us... to yell curses?"

"Yeah!" Sin replied without hesitation. "We're both bored here and we might as well try to get rid of the feeling, right? Just look at the old man, it works wonders for him!"

"…While I can understand your respect for Sol Badguy, I don't think he's a proper role model," Ramlethal said, unconsciously rubbing her jaw from where Sol had once viciously punched her during their battle so long ago, when she'd been acting on her Mother's orders.

"Hey, don't knock it 'til you tried!" Sin exclaimed.

"…Very well."

Less than a minute later, passing by guards in the hallways came to a grinding halt when their otherwise quiet day was interrupted by words most foul.

"Go suck yourself, boredom!" said a particularly energetic and familiar voice.

"Fuck off," said a very monotone yet no less loud voice.

"Come on, Ram! Put more effort into it!

"Fine… mother fucker, go get fucking fucked!"

"Yeah, eat shit!"

The guards, shocked and appalled and most angry now, rushed to the source of the words with all due haste, especially since the few visitors that the castle sometimes had could hear and were quickly growing disturbed.

Only a handful of minutes later, both Sin and Ramlethal found themselves forcefully ejected from the room they'd been in – the library of all places. The librarian, having been out to lunch at first, had returned with a vengeance upon hearing where the words originated from with lightning speed and had thrown the two out with a righteous fury that had cowed the guards who'd arrived in time to witness the rather diminutive woman throw Sin and Ramlehtal out.

Little did the now calm librarian know, the guards would later spread rumors of the 'wrathful devil that lurked within the library,' fear and awe filling all who would later hear of this rumor and the events behind it.

"Ouch!" Sin yelled moments after his forced ejection, the Gear-hybrid rubbing his back. That old lady sure could throw!

"Ow," said Ramlethal in her usual monotone. She rubbed her butt gently, her rear having smashed hard into the wall following her throw. She made a note to avoid the librarian at all costs from now on. "Sin, that didn't really work, I believe."

"…But do you feel as bored?" Sin questioned.

"…Not really. It did make me feel a little better. A little," the Valentine said.

Sin smiled. "Alright! Then how about we try something else!"

Ramlethal quirked an eyebrow whilst her normally calm expression showcased both intrigue and worry.

This was all Sin needed to continue explaining yet another thing he'd picked up from Sol.

 _(Flashback Start)_

 _It's been roughly two years since Sin had begun his journey with Sol and the boy, as young and naïve as he still was, liked to think that he had a pretty good grasp on the kind of person his caretaker was._

 _But one day, he'd been proven wrong and almost horrifically so._

 _Out in the middle of nowhere, the two had stopped to make camp, Sin was asked (ordered, actually) to go collect some sticks to make a little campfire._

 _It'd only taken the boy a good ten minutes to collect what he felt was a good amount before returning to their little campsite, only to pause as he neared._

 _He heard music, some band he didn't recognize playing._

 _But what really grabbed his attention was that he heard a voice singing along with it._

" _Is this the real life~_

 _Is this just fantasy~_

 _Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality~"_

 _Sin couldn't help but feel amazed at how great both the song and person singing along sounded, so he approached at a much slower pace than before._

 _By the time he began to really near the campsite, the song had reached its 2 minute mark._

" _Sends shivers down my spine~_

 _Body's aching all the time~_

 _Goodbye everybody~_

 _I've got to go~_

 _Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth~"_

 _It was this point that he reached the camp and was rendered so stunned that he froze._

 _In hindsight, he really should've known better than to think it was someone else singing along._

 _There, with a well-kept Walkman in his lap, was Sol Badguy sitting on a large log, back turned to Sin, continuing to sing along with surprising skill in spite of his naturally deep and guttural voice._

 _The singing ceased though when Sin dropped the sticks he'd been carrying._

 _Pausing the Walkman, Sol turned around so suddenly that Sin almost leapt into the air. The two stared at one another in complete silence for what felt like hours. Sol's eyes pierced Sin and the boy could only stare back as he was too stupefied to turn away._

 _The next thing Sin knew, Sol had closed the distance between them and had hoisted him up by the top of his head. "You don't tell this to anyone, kid, or else I'll be using your spine as my new toothpick," threatened Sol._

" _G-Got it, old man!"_

 _(Flashback End)_

While Sin didn't actually tell Ramlethal all of this (he liked living, thank you very much), he told enough for her to get his point.

So it was now while outside in the courtyard that Ramlethal could only question Sin's idea yet again, though not quite in the same way as before. "Sin, just where did you get these microphones from?"

Sin laughed. "Kinda picked them up from El's room."

"Why would my sister have these?" was Ramlethal's next question.

"Dunno… think she got them as mementos or something from some karaoke place," Sin replied while scratching the back of his head. "But hey, at least we can sing now!"

Ramlethal remained quiet on that statement, having resigned herself to just go along with this. It beat sitting around bored. "Alright then. So… when do we start."

Sin grinned as he held up his left hand, all five fingers stretched out. He counted down with said fingers until he reached the 1 count with his index finger.

And then when that finger lowered, hell began.

The courtyard of the castle was a well-liked spot for the inhabitants of both the castle and visitors, known both for its natural beauty and peaceful atmosphere.

But alas this image of it – along with the eardrums of the unfortunate people there – were shattered when Sin and Ramlethal began their rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody.

And unlike Sol who surprisingly had a great singing voice, Sin and Ramlethal didn't. The microphones didn't help.

"SEND SHIVERS DOWN MY SPIIIINNNNNNNNEEEEE!" roared Sin.

"BODY ACHING ALL THE TIME," proclaimed Ramlethal in her usual monotone, amplified by the powerful mic she held.

"GOOOOOOOODBYEEEEE EVERYBODYYYYYYY!" both now said in unison. "I'VE GOT TO GOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Yargh, my ears!" cried one person.

"Stop, make it stop!" cried out another.

"You're killing that song!" All eyes turned to the guard in surprise. "Hey, that's a great song! They're killing it!"

A tussle suddenly ensued, cutting off the two would-be singers before any more harm (to the people's eardrums and to the song itself) could come about.

Moments later, Sin and Ramlethal found themselves thrown out of the courtyard and back into the castle, their mics broken beyond repair. Humorously, this worried them both more than the pain they now felt.

"…El won't be happy about this," Ramlethal muttered, looking worriedly at the microphone in her hand, the handle mangled so badly that it was amazing she was still able to grip it at all.

"Damn, we'll have to try and fix these later or something," Sin groaned. Elphelt was a very sweet woman, but he'd rather not find out how long her kind disposition would last in the face of such a sight.

Deciding it'd be best to return to one of their rooms – Sin's, to be more specific – lest they get mugged for what they've done, the duo scrapped the mics for now before sitting together on Sin's bed.

A painfully awkward silence fell upon them as they settled for just staring at the wall. Both were unsure of what to do now, a fact that Ramlethal decided to voice. "So what should we do now?"

Sin, grateful for the silence being broken, took several seconds to dwell on this, praying for other memory of times past to provide an answer.

As if answering his prayer, that is exactly what happened.

 _(Flashback Start)_

" _Hey, old man…" Sin began as he and Sol stopped traveling for the day, once again staying outdoors. Having just set up camp, they both sat around a small fire to cook them some dinner._

" _What?" Sol replied gruffly._

" _Overheard something earlier while in town," Sin began, leading up to what he wanted. As young as he was, he was still perceptive enough to know to build up to it rather than just ask outright. "A guy and girl talking…"_

" _Get to the point, kid," Sol said, holding back a grimace. He had better things to do other than listen to Sin getting ready to drone on._

 _Sin scratched his head. "They mentioned something called 'sex.' What's sex?"_

 _Normally, if an adult was asked this by a teen – or rather someone who physically looks like a teen – said adult would grow a little uneasy and either answer reluctantly or just find some way to evade the question._

 _However, if anyone knew Sin's true age, they'd have reacted the same way that they'd react to an actual kid asking such a question, usually in one of two ways: either by fleeing for the hills and hoping for someone else to explain or panicking on the spot as their minds tried to come up with a good bullshit answer._

 _Sol Badguy, however, belonged to neither of these two categories._

" _What do ya want to know, kid? The build up to it or just the actual part?" he asked dully. Now Sol knew that what Sin asked wasn't exactly an age appropriate thing. While the Gear-hybrid was physically and somewhat mentally older than he chronologically was, that didn't necessarily mean he was ready for the more adult stuff._

 _Alas, the effort required to actually care for this exceeded the effort necessary to bluntly explain sex to the unknowing boy. Henceforth, Sol chose the easiest route._

" _There's more than one part to it?!" Sin exclaimed in surprise._

 _Sol grunted, his charge's shout nearly rupturing his eardrums. "Calm down, kid. And yeah, there's a build up to that sort of shit. Gotta 'work each other up' first."_

" _Wha- j-just tell me about the main part, old man!" Sin asked impatiently. He figured that'd be the more exciting part anyways._

 _Sol looked him dead in the eyes, his expression flat. "You know how you got a 'sword' in between your legs?" When Sin nodded, he continued. "Well, girls got a 'sheathe' down there instead. Guys ram their 'swords' into those 'sheathes' over and over again until either one of them let loose the big one."_

"… _Big one?" Sin tilted his head in confusion at that._

 _Sol ignored him and went back to cooking dinner, considering his job done. The kid had asked his dumb question and he'd answered. Granted, he'd only told Sin the actual act of procreation and not foreplay, but hey, the kid will eventually learn in the future, right?_

 _Hopefully, in the far distant future though; the last thing he needed was Ky on his ass for this._

" _H-Hey, old man!" Sin cried out, trying to get his parental figure's attention, but to no avail. "What's the 'big one?!' Old man! Come onnnn!"_

 _(Flashback End)_

This memory coming back to him in full, Sin let out an slight 'aha!' as if he'd discovered something brilliant.

"Say, Ram, ever heard of sex?" he then had the brilliant idea of saying.

"…?" was the only way to summarize Ramlethal's expression. "No, not really. Heard of it, but not what it entails."

"Wanna try it out together? The old man kinda told me a bit about it," Sin said. He shrugged. "I mean, hey, it'll help pass the time, right?"

Ramlethal hummed. "Why not. Might as well."

If only she knew what she and Sin were about to get into.

Several minutes later and on the rooftop of the castle, Sol Badguy was lying back-first on said rooftop, taking a rare moment to enjoy the sun and slight breeze that graced the area.

Cigarette in mouth, he took a quick puff before pulling it out and closing his eyes. Ever since he'd finally confronted That Man and settled things with him, everything had seemed to calm down a lot since then. It'd actually come as quite the shock at first to him, living so lazily like this. While he was all for just coasting through things save for the occasional bounty, this was perhaps the first time he'd ever been able to relax in between bounty hunting without having some crisis pop up to burst his little bubble.

But alas, as he was about to fully zone out, said little bubble of calm and quiet was burst most haphazardly.

"SIN, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" came the voice of one Ky Kiske from somewhere within the castle, the king's voice so loud that it actually rattled Sol.

"WHAAAA?!" came the voice of Dizzy, the normally quiet Gear-hybrid sounding more startled and even mortified than any other time the Flame of Corruption could recall.

"WHA- MOM?! DAD?!" came Sin's voice next. "W-What are you doing here?!" His voice sounded not as loud this time, but still more than audible for Sol to hear.

"Ow!" Ramlethal actually exclaimed. "Sin, that really hurt! Push in more gently next time!"

"WHAT ARE YOU TWO DOING?!" Ky could be heard asking again.

"We just wanted to see what sex was like!" Sin's reply was, freezing Sol in place.

"S-S-Sex?! Who could've told you abou-?!" Ky began, only to stop as the obvious answer occurred to both him and Dizzy. The realization was so great a thing that virtually everyone who could hear the four of them were able to deduce the exact instant that it had occurred.

Coincidently, Sol himself came to the same conclusion as well and it was enough to make him slightly regret leaving his Junkyard Dog MK. III in his room.

"SOLLLLL!" Ky's voice roared out, the familiar sound of Magnolia Éclair II being drawn from his waist.

"Shit…" Sol muttered.

Looks like the past had come back to bite him in the ass yet again.

* * *

And done! Yeah, evidently not a T rated fic here. Hope that the content near the end as well wasn't anything gross or stuff for you guys, considering the chronological ages of both Sin and Ramlethal. But then again, Ky and Dizzy (who's at most 9 years old as of Xrd) had Sin when the latter was even younger, so it's all hopefully understandable, right? (Sheepish laughter).

Again, as stated in the above AN, I will be once again focusing on my original novel for another several chapters before I begin my next fanfic. Hopefully it won't take me too long to get around to it though; I miss posting on this site.

Thanks for reading, everyone! Hope you enjoyed it somewhat and take care!


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